The Rambling Thoughts Of Bernard
by OrangeAfterglow
Summary: The final part of the 'Rambling Thoughts' series. Bernard had a pretty rough time of it. He was dehydrated into a cube and the forgotten for the whole of the movie. What would he think when he woke up after the dedication of the Megamind Museum?


I find myself for the fifth time tonight with my head under the cold tap in my bathroom gulping down as much of the foul tasting chemically treated water as I can. My mouth is constantly dry and I have the worst headache of my_ life_. Considering the fact that a day hardly goes by without a headache nagging at my brain, to say that this one tops everything is putting it lightly. Every muscle is cramped and I have the strange urge to keep moving. It is like there is something inside me telling me to keep on moving, that no matter what I must not sit still.

What time had I gotten home from work last night? The last thing I remember is going into work this morning and wondering why I bother anymore. I am the curator of the Metro Man Museum, actually, I'm the _only_ member of staff at the museum, since Metro Man was destroyed by Megamind. I honestly don't know why everyone was so surprised. It isn't like they didn't know that was what he wanted to do from the very beginning! I never met the guy but then I didn't have to, for a fugitive criminal he was oddly extroverted. Always boasting about his latest evil scheme and what he was going to do when it all paid off.

I watched from the observation platform at the Museum while Megamind came to take over City Hall. I was recording some notes about how he was handling himself. He seemed…different, a lot less cocky. That's the funny thing about your dreams coming true. No one seems to plan what they will do when they finally make it happen.

Why am I just lying in my bed staring up at the ceiling thinking about this stuff? I'm exhausted yet sleep doesn't seem to want to come. It feels like I have been asleep for months. I had the strangest dream before I woke up. That is another odd thing, I never normally dream let alone remember them. I remember being at work and being bored out of my mind. I was sorting some books that some kids had been messing with when I came across someone stood on the observation platform. It was that reporter Roxanne Ritchi, and she was talking to a statue.

I remember thinking it was going to be another long night, people like that never seemed to want to leave despite the allotted closing times. Maybe no one would notice if I forgot she was there and locked up anyway. I continued with my work, resigned to my fate when I came across someone else on the platform.

Some people have no sense of taste what-so-ever. Coming to the deserted Metro Man Museum dressed up as Megamind in some shoddy costume! I may never have met the guy but I know what he looks like and I know that he would never be caught dead wearing an outfit like that!

What happened after that? I don't remember anything after that. All I can do is sigh and write it off as an unexplained event. But I can't seem to shake this uneasy feeling. Something is not quite right.

Something in my apartment seems a bit… off. It is difficult to put my finger on what it could be. The light of the morning is streaming in through the open curtains, I never normally leave them open at night, perhaps that is it. Hmmm.

Everything is still where it should be, nothing is missing from any of the rooms. Hmm… no electricity. That's odd, I fed the meter only the other day, it should have more than a month left. Just another thing to go wrong round here, I shall have to sort that out later today. Suddenly it hits me, there is something different about the place. It is… filthy! Oh to the normal observer everything looks neat and clean but I run a Museum, I know dust when I see it and I know it's many types! I tried to explain that once to the cleaning staff at the museum but they couldn't comprehend the importance of what I was trying to tell them.

The question is, why is my apartment_ dusty_? I am a meticulously clean and organised person. I deal with enough chaos at work each day with books being left in piles and children running loose, I like my home to be a place of order. It is almost as if someone has been in and cleaned up such a mess but not done it properly! At the museum I can tell who has been on cleaning duty that night just by looking at the shelves.

Whoever did this is good. _Really good_. But not nearly as meticulous as I am. They picked up the items on each shelf and dusted under them… whoever it was made just one mistake.

Things have been dusted but the air was not vacuumed. This has resulted in the inevitable situation of the very same dust swept off the shelves congregating in the air and drifting down to land back in its original place. By the looks of it was done yesterday…a thin film of dust on the shelves would account for about 10 hours of dust collection. But only if there was a lot of dust there in the first place. I can even taste it in the air.

The question is, why was my apartment so dusty in the first place? And who in their right mind would come in just to clean it up? A knock on the door pulls my attention away from the perplexing questions and only provides another even more perplexing one. My neighbour bringing my mail…a lot of mail. He made some random comment about not seeing me for a few weeks. Before I could question his insanity his phone started to ring so he made his excuses and scurried away. What he was talking about I have no idea. I saw him the other day on my way out to work. I even took the time to interact with him. I said "Hello".

This stack of mail is another thing… why has so much post come on one day? Even the phone company is loosing the plot in all of this madness, why send out four letters on the same day reminding me to pay my bill…one of them says the line has been deactivated! What is going on? Could this have something to do with why I can't remember coming home last night?

There is a newspaper included in the pile of mail, probably belongs to my neighbour but he forgot it in his rush to answer his phone.

But …

This… this can't be right! August? That is impossible… It's April, why does the date on the newspaper say August. I nearly drop the paper completely when I read the headline.

"Megamind: Defender of Metro City"

What is going on? The picture is taken in front of the Metro Man Museum…wait…no. No, what has happened to my museum? That statue…Who changed the statue. How?

What is going on? I rush to the window and out onto my balcony. There are Brainbots flying all over the city carrying bits of building material. They are actually helping. If I could just make out …

Oh now that is just sick.

The Metro Man statue has been replaced, I can see it from here! It has been replaced with a statue of him!

What is going on here?

Oh this is the _worst day of my life_!


End file.
